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英文爱情片红河谷 A

Princess Diaries Script


[Sirens]



HELEN/ Time for school!



HELEN/ Stop daydreaming.
You'll be late for school.



Sometimes l have dreams



MIA: Hey, Louie. Come on.



l picture myself flyin'



It's time to go to schooI.



Through the clouds



High in the sky



Conquering the world



With my magic piano



Never being scared



But then l realize



l'm Supergirl



And l'm here to save the world



But l wanna know



Who's gonna save me?



HELEN/ Are you
feeling confident?



MIA: Not reaIIy.



Now just remember,
when you make your speech...



don't Iook at the peopIe.



Pick a spot on the back waII...



don't take your eyes
off of it...



and speak IoudIy.



Thanks, Mom.



Bye, Mom.



Good Iuck.



Ooh ooh



Ooh



Morning, Buttons.



[Barking]



MAN/ Be nice, Buttons.



MIA: Whoa. Whoa!



Sorry, Mr. Robutusen.



Have a nice day.



ROBUTUSEN: I doubt it.



Whoo!



l'm Supergirl



[Sirens]



l'm Supergirl



What l wanna know



Who's gonna save me?



CHEERLEADERS/
Hey, there, ho there



How do you do?



This is Grove Lions
sayin' hi to you.



-I'm Lana...
-Anna...



Fontana.



CHEERLEADERS/ Go Lions!



BOY: Josh!



l'm Supergirl



-Josh!
-What are you doing?



Oh, he's such a show-off.



Jeremiah, off the waII,
pIease.



Come on.
You know better than that.



MIA: Good morning, Miss Gupta.



Morning, LiIIy...



LiIIy's friend.



l'm Supergirl



Who's gonna save me?



You know,
as manager of the team...



I reaIIy think you shouId be
a part of the team.



Oh, oh! Oops.



I'm sorry,
I didn't see you.



I was thinking...



Somebody sat on me again.



-ReaIIy?
-Yeah.



MlA/
l don't know what happened.



l was just sitting there,
working on my speech...



It's reaIIy a dumb cIass--



LILL Y:
Jerk and jerkette sighting.



MIA: Hmm?



Soft kisses on a summer's day



Laughing all our cares away



And dream of--



-What?
-What?



You never saw two idiots
exchange saIiva before?



Oh. Yeah.



They're so rude.



Good. You know,
for a second there...



I thought you were
going A-crowd on me.



MlA/ Oh, heh. Negative.



LlLL Y/ Ready for debate?



MlA/
l'm never ready for debate.



[Cheering]
BO Y/ Go, Josh!



JOSH/ So this is not a debate.



This is a control issue.



Grove controIs our minds
with what they teach us...



but you know what?



They're not satisfied
with that.



I think Grove shouId
dump the uniforms...



and we have casuaI dress
aII year round!



[Cheering]



MR. O'CONNELL/
All right, all right.



OK, girIs, settIe down.
SettIe down.



This is a debate,
and after it's over...



I want you back
in your schooI uniform.



JOSH: Hey, boss,
whatever you say.



Josh, sit down.



-He's the man.
-He's my man.



O'CONNELL/
OK, Josh. Later, OK?



Down, down, boy.
You made your point.



OK, so,
now we've all heard...



from Josh Bryant
for the affirmative.



[VeIcro rips]



I Iove that sound.



What's my point again?



You Iike our uniforms.
They're equaIizers.



O'CONNELL/
Now we'll hear the rebuttal...



from Mia Thermopolis...



who will present
the negative argument...



against our proposition.



[Scattered appIause]



GlRL/ Come on, Mia!



BO Y/ Whoo-hoo!



Um...I th-think...um...



FONTANA/ What a frizz-ball.



ANNA/ Look at her hair.



O'CONNELL/ Shh!



Um...



BO Y/ We're waiting.



SECOND BO Y/ Say something!



You see, um...I...



See, casuaI--
casuaI...uh...



[Breathing heaviIy]



GlRL/ Are you OK?



ANNA: She's gonna barf.



SECOND GlRL/
Oh, God! She's gonna hurl!



THlRD GlRL/ Cover the tuba!



O'CONNELL/ OK, OK.
Everybody settle down.



Learn how to fly



Gotta move on



From what's
breaking your heart...



MANAGER/ Mia!
Finish up with Mrs. Taubman...



and then you can take a break.



Another huge tip
from Mrs. Hersh.



I got one from Mrs. Taubman.
We're doing aII right today.



Mr. WaIsh's ropes are twisted.



VlVlAN/
Mr. Walsh, stop twisting!



You'll strangle yourself!



Hi, Mom.



You threw up, huh?



And you ran away.



MlA/
l'm trying to forget about it.



Can I have some shoes
and chaIk, pIease?



Anyway, I'II go taIk
to your debate teacher--



-What's his name?
-Mr. O'ConneII.



And straighten it aII out.



Mom, I am never going to be
a good pubIic speaker.



Just caII him and teII him
I want to be a mime.



-I can do that.
-Here you go.



Oh, your grandmother caIIed.



What?



The Iive one.



Who Iives in Genovia.
CIarisse.



Oh. Wow.



This is the first time
she's ever contacted us.



What'd she want?



She's in town.



She wants to have tea.



Tea? She came aII the way
from Europe to have tea?



[TeIephone rings]



I think I'm gonna cIimb
a IittIe bit.



MANAGER/
Rocks Around the Clock



MIA: Isn't this the grandmother
who made you get a divorce?



WeII, she didn't
approve of me...



but PhiIIipe and I
made the decision...



to divorce on our own.



Why shouId I go see
this snobby Iady who ignores us?



Mia, she's your father's mother.



Just go see her tomorrow.



-PIease?
-Tension.



She said
your father hoped...



that you two wouId meet someday.



[Sighs] AII right, I'II go.



[PIaying rock and roII music]



BO Y/ Whoo!



AII right, I win.



Band practice is over.



l have a music class here. Out!



Let's have the third group
try ''Catch a FaIIing.''



CharIes, you want to be
in the front?



-Thanks.
-No probIem.



MichaeI.



Are you sure
you can't heIp me...



with my Spotted OwI
petition today?



I'm meeting my grandmother
after schooI.



[Piano pIaying]
Oh, right.



Catch a falling star



And put it in your pocket



Never let it fade away



Catch a falling star



And put it in your pocket



Save it for a rainy day



For love may come and



Tap you on the shoulder



Some starless night



SPEAKER/ School tours
are on Saturday, young lady.



I'm here for a meeting
with my grandmother.



Name?



CIarisse RenaIdi.



Oh. PIease come
to the front door.



Thank you very much.



SPEAKER/ Get off the grass!



[Message repeated
in other Ianguages]



WeIcome, Miss ThermopoIis.



We've been expecting you.



MIA: Oh, be carefuI.



PIease don't crush
my soy nuts.



Your soy nuts are safe.



OK.



Right this way.



PIease,
make yourseIf comfortabIe.



WOMAN/ ...for their
daughter Marissa.



She's allergic to peanuts.



And we need new piIIows
for the prime minister's wife.



She's aIIergic
to goose feathers.



Hello, Amelia.



I'm CharIotte, from
the Genovian attache corps.



Hi. It's nice to meet you.



Um, where am l?



CHARLO TTE/
The Genovian Consulate.



MIA: You've got pears
in your fIowers.



Genovian pears.
We're famous for them.



Now, if you'II sit down...



she'II be with you
in a moment.



No, I don't need a moment.
I'm here.



AmeIia,
I'm so gIad you couId come.



MlA/ Hi.
You've got a great place.



Thank you.



WeII, Iet me Iook at you.



You Iook so...young.



Thank you.



And you Iook so...



cIean.



CharIotte, wouId you check
on tea in the garden?



Please, sit.



So, my mom said you wanted...



to taIk to me
about something. Shoot.



Oh, before I ''shoot''...



I have something
I want to give you.



Here.



Oh, um, thank you.



Wow.



CLARlSSE/
lt's the Genovian crest.



It was mine when I was young.



And that was
my great-grandmother's.



Heh. I'II keep this safe.



I wiII take good care of it.



Now, what did you
want to teII me?



CLARlSSE/ Something
that l think will have...



a very big impact
upon your Iife.



I aIready had braces.



No, it's bigger
than orthodontia.



The tea is served, ma'am.



AmeIia, have you ever heard...



of Eduard Christoff
PhiIIipe Gerard RenaIdi?



No.



He was the crown prince
of Genovia.



Hmm.



What about him?



Eduard Christoff
PhiIIipe Gerard RenaIdi...



was your father.



[Snorts] Yeah, sure.



My father was
the prince of Genovia.



Uh-huh. You're joking.



Why wouId I joke about
something Iike that?



No! Because if he's reaIIy
a prince, then I--



ExactIy.



You're not just
AmeIia ThermopoIis.



You are AmeIia Mignonette
ThermopoIis RenaIdi...



Princess of Genovia.



Me? A princess?



Shut up!



I beg your pardon?
Shut up?



Your Majesty, in America...



it doesn't aIways mean
''Be quiet.''



Here it couId mean,
''Wow,'' ''Gee whiz,'' ''GoIIy''--



Oh, I understand.
Thank you.



NevertheIess,
you are the princess.



And I am
Queen CIarisse RenaIdi.



Why wouId you pick me
to be your princess?



Since your father died,
you are the naturaI heir...



to the throne of Genovia.
That's our Iaw.



I'm royaI by marriage.



You are royaI by bIood.



You can ruIe.



RuIe? Oh, no.



Oh, no. No, no, no.



Now you have
reaIIy got the wrong girI.



I never Iead anybody--



not at Brownies,
not at Camp Fire GirIs--



Queen CIarisse,
my expectation in Iife...



is to be invisibIe,
and I'm good at it.



AmeIia, I had
other expectations aIso.



In my wiIdest dreams...



I never expected this
to happen.



But you are the IegaI heir--



the onIy heir--
to the Genovian throne...



and we will
accept the challenge...



of heIping you become
the princess that you are.



Oh, I can give you books.



You wiII study Ianguages,
history, art, poIiticaI science.



I can teach you
to waIk, taIk, sit, stand...



eat, dress Iike a princess.



And, given time,
I think you'II find...



the paIace in Genovia
a very pIeasant pIace to Iive.



-Live in Genovia?
-It's a wonderfuI country.



Whoa, whoa. Just--



Rewind and freeze.



l'm no princess.



I'm stiII waiting
for normaI body parts to arrive.



I refuse to move to
and ruIe a country...



and--Do you want
another reason?



I don't want to be a princess!



Oh, AmeIia...AmeIia!



Amelia, come back here!



CLARlSSE/ Ohh!



[Sighs]



WeII, that went weII,
didn't it?



-Perhaps she needs more time.
-WiII you heIp me?



Miss ThermopoIis?



I'm the head of your security...



and you want me to be
a chauffeur and baby-sitter.



For the time being.
The chiId needs protection.



MlA/ For years...



you couldn't
find a spare minute...



to teII me that
my father is a royaI?



I thought I was doing
the right thing.



The right thing for who, Mom?



For aII of us.



l mean,
if we secretly divorced...



he would be able
to find a woman...



who wouId stay by his side
and produce heirs...



and I wouId be free
to Iive my Iife with you.



I mean, pIease!
We met in coIIege!



I was young!
I wanted to paint.



Can you see me waIking
one step behind someone...



for the rest of my Iife?



With ruIes and reguIations...



and the waving and the bowing
and the scraping?



I was scared!



MIA:
Living with a mother...



who Iied to me
for years scares me.



Where are you going?



To straighten up
the royaI bedchamber.



HELEN/ After the divorce,
we all discussed it.



Your father
and your grandmother...



both agreed
to keep that distance...



so you would have a chance
of a normal childhood...



free of
emotionaI compIications.



We were going to teII you
when you were years oId...



but when your father died,
things changed, Mia.



We wanted to protect you.



You know what?



I don't feeI protected.



You try Iiving for years...



thinking that
you're one person...



and then in five minutes
you find out...



that you're a princess.



Just in case...



I'm not enough
of a freak aIready...



Iet's add a tiara!



[Sighs]



WeII, drink your soup.



I'm not reaIIy hungry.



Fine.



Good night, sweetheart.



Fat Louie...



[Purring]



You are so Iucky...



you don't know
who your parents are.



[Meow]



I've never ridden in a Iimo...



he admitted bitterIy
to himseIf...



as he crossed
to the open window...



and Iooked out at the bay,
the fog Iooming...



Iike his pathetic Iife
before him.



I can't beIieve I won an Emmy.



I have this favorite photo
of PhiIIipe.



We had so much fun
when we were in college.



He was so full
of joie de vivre...



always laughing and smiling.



CLARISSE: I remember.



HeIen, if AmeIia refuses
to accept the throne...



then Genovia wiII cease
to exist as we know it.



So the future
of your country...



is in the hands
of my -year-oId?



Here it is.



Oh.



CLARlSSE/
Phillipe was ready to be king.



Then the terribIe accident.



Even though it didn't
work out between us...



I Ioved your son very much.



Thank you.



WeII, as aIways...



this is as good as
it's gonna get.



Hmm.



I can't wait untiI she's .



[Mia sighs]



Oh, this is a nightmare.



I'm going back to bed.



Mia, the three of us
have to taIk.



Oh, OK.
Is there something eIse...



about me and my Iife
I might want to know about?



Are you two waiting
to take me on a taIk show...



to teII me I have a twin sister
who's a duchess?



You have a cousin
who's a contessa.



Fondly known as Bartholomew.



Actually,
we call him Pookie.



Yesterday did not go weII.



WiII you just Iisten
to your grandmother?



AmeIia,
in a matter of weeks...



we have an annuaI baII.



I was--I am hoping
that I may present you...



to the press and the pubIic
on that occasion.



However, you desperately
need some instruction.



I speak for the entire
Genovian parIiament...



and the royaI famiIy.



And I speak for this famiIy.



Excuse me...



I don't have a famiIy
with either one of you...



because you ignored me
for years...



and you Iied to me.



FamiIies don't do stuff
Iike that, OK?



[Footsteps going upstairs]



Where is she going?



The tower.



Mia, you can't run
from everything!



She has a tower?



HELEN/ Please?
Just come down from there.



MIA:
Most kids hope for a car...



for their th birthday,
not a country!



Just make yourseIf comfortabIe.



[Fat Louie hisses]



HELEN/
This is getting us nowhere!



Talk to me.



I can't taIk to you right now.



I'm Iate for a meeting
with my guidance counseIor.



I'm Iate for a meeting
with Spain and PortugaI.



HELEN/ l have a thought.



Mia promises to attend
princess Iessons...



untiI your baII.



WeII, it's not my baII.



It's Genovia's annuaI
Independence Day baII.



I'm sorry.



Mia promises neither
to accept nor reject...



your offer to be royaI
untiI this grand baII...



and then
she makes her decision.



Now, can you
both live with that?



It seems I have no option.



[Sighs] If I have to.



But I want not one word of this
untiI that evening.



Is that understood?



Duh.



CLARlSSE/ The press
would have a field day.



WeII. Let's not keep
Spain and PortugaI waiting.



[Car horn honks]



I'II be this year...



and my mom traded two paintings
for a Mustang.



You do know what
a Mustang is, right?



I raise mustangs.



That is not a sensibIe car
for a princess.



It isn't sensibIe for anyone.
It doesn't run.



I suppose I couId donate
something to this vehicIe.



MlA/
Good morning, Mr. Robutusen.



CLARlSSE/
Who is this gentleman?



MlA/
Oh, he's my neighbor...



but you wouIdn't
want to meet him.



He doesn't have
very nice manners.



Good morning.



There's someone
I want you to meet.



OK. Whoa.



You have two Iimousines?



One is yours.



You raise Iimousines, too?



No. AmeIia, this is Joseph.



Hi. Nice to meet you.



The eIegant European woman
didn't stay for tea...



Thanks.



But the promise of tomorrow
hung in the air.



[Car door shuts]



MIA: Ooh!



Uh, Princess?



Princess, may I point out...



that no matter
how many times you push it...



it wiII go up and down
the same way.



MlA/ Joseph, can we
eighty-six the flags? Please?



No.



The fIags aIIow me
to park anywhere.



We keep the fIags.



Sorry, Joseph.



You can caII me Joe.



Joey?



Heh heh heh heh.



No. Joe.



Did I miss something?



Are we going to a wedding?



Uh, no. SchooI.



No, this is the surprise ride.



[Speaking foreign Ianguage]



MlA/ This is Joe.



Joe, LiIIy. LiIIy, Joe.



LILL Y:
Hi, it's nice to meet you.



You know you Iook Iike Shaft?



Yes. Excuse me.



-You want a ride, right?
-Yeah, totaIIy.



Hey, I got it.



Of course.



-OK.
-Oh, my word!



JOE/ Please fasten
your seat belts, ladies.



LlLL Y/ ls your mother
dating an undertaker?



Uh, no.



This Iong-Iost grandmother
showed up...



and she wants me to use it.



-And?
-I--I don't know.



I guess she's just
trying to be nice...



to get me to like her.



LlLL Y/ Oh.



MlA/ Hey, Joe?



Can you please park
a block away from school?



I don't want to cause a riot
with this hearse.



This is a non-riot hearse.



And if it were a hearse...



there wouId be siIence
in the back seat.



[GirIs Iaughing]



CHEERLEADERS/
Hey there, ho there



How do you do?



This is Grove Lions
sayin' hi to you.



Go Lions! Rowr!



P.A./ This is a reminder.



Virtual homework
may not be submitted...



for actual credit.



FONTANA: TeII me, Mia.



Is it true
about your speech?



Are you reaIIy speaking
at the BuIimic Convention?



So you can speak and barf
at the same time?



[Vomiting sounds]



[Vomiting sounds]



MS. HARBULA/ Good.



Good glove, Michael.
Way to go.



I'II Iet this one go, Mia.
Try catching.



Are you sure?



It's sIow-pitch.
Don't worry about it.



MIA: Oh.



Now get it and throw it
back to the pitcher.



-OK.
-Come on.



[Crowd gasps]



-I am so sorry.
-Mm.



-I'm reaIIy--
-Mm.



-I didn't mean to--
-Mm.



-Can I heIp you?
-Ice. Get me ice.



[TroIIey beII dings]



LILL Y: I'm on the verge
of becoming a nutcase...



and my parents think
I need an attitude adjustment.



MIA: Whoa, whoa, whoa!



LILL Y: Sorry.
Yeah, so my dad wants...



to take me to dinner tonight,
just the two of us.



We ran out of things
to taIk about when I was .



MIA: At Ieast
your dad's stiII aIive.



LILL Y: Hey.



I thought
you'd gotten over that.



It's been two months.



MIA: I know, I know.



But, after aII, he was my dad.



BioIogicaIIy, yes,
but you never met the man.



Just a nice card and gift
on your birthday for years?



Be fair.
They were beautifuI presents.



Remember that Faberge
merry-go-round he sent me?



That was nice.



And he paid
for my schooI tuition.



-I guess so.
-LiIIy, I gotta run.



I gotta see your brother
about my baby.



LILL Y: OK, but Iet's
take the Iimo tomorrow.



These hiIIs are kiIIing me.



MIA: You got it.



[Rock music pIaying]



[TeIephone rings]



[Rings]



He fixes cars,
he pIays guitar...



and he can sing.



-He is so hot!
-He is wicked sweet.



DOC: HeIIo. TaIk Ioud,
I got a band rehearsing.



MlCHAEL/ You've been listening
to the sounds of Flypaper.



We're flying away now.



DOC/ All right, stop yelling.
They're finished.



Hey, that's--
It's sounding reaIIy good.



You know,
Ned is really wailing.



HeIIo, Mia.



Hey, Doc.



So, what's the diagnosis
for my baby?



Four hundred doIIars.



[Horn honks]



DOC: Yeah, I know.
It costs to be cooI, huh?



MIA: This is not my day.



I'II do some Iabor free.



MlA/ Thanks, but l'll talk
to my grandma about it.



It'II be great.



I'II see you guys Iater.
I gotta be somewhere.



Ooh.
''I'II do some Iabor free.''



Heh. You sweet on her?



She's my sister's best friend!



Yeah, that's
the hardest pIace to be.



Between friend
and friendIier, huh?



[Laughs]



l'm tryin' to find a way



l'm tryin' to find a ride...



Your Majesty, the dipIomatic
pouch has arrived...



and she's here.



CLARISSE: Send her in.



CHARLO TTE/ Yes, ma'am.



CHARLO TTE/ l need more roses--



red, white, mauve.
Mauve!



-Miss AmeIia, weIcome.
-Hi.



Straight ahead to your Ieft.



Her Majesty is ready for you
in the Iibrary.



CLARlSSE/ Charlotte,
take notes, will you?



AmeIia, circIe sIowIy...



so I can evaIuate
the work to be done.



AmeIia!



Does your bad posture
affect your hearing?



-Turn.
-Oh, sorry.



No, no, no.
SIowIy, turn.



Slowly. Thank you.



Well, carriage, obviously.
Hairstyle.



CompIexion...



Stop!



Eyes...IoveIy...



but hidden beneath
bushman eyebrows.



The neck is seemIy.



Ears...



Iike her father.



ReaIIy? They are?



Oh, my!
Who has naiIs Iike these?



Everybody.



Tomorrow I wouId Iike
to see cIean fingers.



And you wiII wear stockings.



Not tights, not socks.



And I never want to see
those shoes again.



When waIking in a crowd...



one is under scrutiny
aII the time.



So we don't shIump,
Iike this.



We drop the shouIders...



we think taII...



we tuck under
and transfer the weight...



from one foot to--



No. Princesses never
cross their Iegs in pubIic.



Why don't you just tuck
one ankIe behind the other...



and pIace the hands
gracefuIIy on the knees.



Aah!



CharIotte,
I think it's time for tea.



MlA/ Tell me,
how does my mother--



or, really, any person,
for that matter--



go into
a parent-teacher conference...



and come out with a date?



Mia, Mr. O'ConneII
is not married...



he's not Iiving with anyone...



pIus he's not pierced,
tattooed, or hair-pIugged.



Do you reaIize how rare that is
south of Market Street?



Did it ever occur to you...



that if you dated
one of my teachers...



it wouId give the other kids...



Iicense to mock me
for the rest of my Iife?



No, you're right.
I didn't, and I'm sorry.



[Sighs]



It's just that Patrick--



Mr. O'ConneII--
is such a nice man.



He's a reaI gentIeman...



and I haven't met one of those
in a Iong, Iong time.



OK. It's--it's fine.



I just can't do anything
right anymore, can I?



[Meow]



BO YS/
Come on! Go for it!



-Come on, get her!
-ln your face!



Aah, aah, aah!



HARBULA/
Come on, come on!



Just bIock one, Mia!



I can't do this.
I'm a girI.



What am I, a duck?



No! I mean...
You're an athIetic girI.



I am a synchronized swimming,
yoga-doing...



horseback-riding,
waII-cIimbing-type girI.



My hand-eye coordination
is zero.



AII right,
you can go again Iater.



Josh! Get in here.



Yeah, I'm in.



So, I was
watching you earIier...



and you're way tense.



You know what I'm saying?



Soft kisses
on a summer's day...



You gotta think Iike the baII.
Be the baII.



You gotta stop it,
know what I mean?



-Heh?
-Heh.



Bring it on.



-Hey, Joe?
-Mm-hmm?



I'm turning the back seat
into a dressing room...



so I can change into
a proper outfit for madame.



Yes, weII,
don't forget your shoes.



Oh, thanks.



Strange town, San Francisco.



When I purchased the pumps...



they asked
if I wanted them wrapped...



or if I wanted to wear them.



AII right, cIosing.



Ah ah bop bop ba dop



Oh oh bop bop ba dop



Going up.



Oh little bitty pretty one



Come on and talk to me



Aah!



Let me grab you lovely one



You aII right?



Yeah--oh--I'm fine.



-Going down.
-Whoo!



Oh oh bop bop ba dop



Oh oh bop bop ba dop



Oh oh bop bop ba dop



I've never put on pantyhose,
but it sounds dangerous.



MlA/ Grandma?
ls it customary in Genovia...



to imprison your dinner guests
with Hermeez scarves?



CLARlSSE: lt's Hermes.



The scarf is mereIy
a training tooI.



EventuaIIy
you wiII Iearn to sit...



and eat properly without it.



Manners matter.



But enough
etiquette for the day.



Now, Genovia does
a lot of trade with Spain...



so we prepare for that.



The quickest way
to a Spanish heart is dance.



ShaII we?



Now teII me,
what kind of dancing do you do?



Dancing?
Just the normaI kind.



You know, Iike...



Bom chicka bom bom



Bom tss um bom



JOE: I see.



JOE/ We have
a Genovian alternative.



[Dance music pIaying]



Now, the dances here
are very sedate...



right from the hips.
In pIace.



No bobbing of the head,
pIease.



It's not a doggy
on a dashboard.



JOE/ Straight up.



Let's practice this here.



Now, this dance is...



between a waItz
and a tango, you see?



MIA: It's a wango?



JOE/ No.



AII right, here we go.
Spin out...



and spin into me.
Spin into--Uhh!



-[Gasps]
-OK.



I--No, no, no, no.



JOE/ Try again.
One more spin.



Very quickIy,
now puII away.



That's it. Good.



Good attitude.
Spin in.



-Good.
-I did it?



Grandma, I spun
without hurting anyone!



That's very good news.



Spin, spin, spin.
Yes, done.



Better.
It's coming aIong.



Now you may go home.



Thank you!
See you tomorrow!



Thank you, Joseph.



[Dance music pIaying]



You've been wearing
bIack too Iong.



P.A./ This is Coach Harbula.



You can sign up now
for the Baker Beach Party.



MIA: Oh! Sorry. Sorry.



JOSH: Hey, Bobby Bad!



Sorry.



LlLL Y/
Mia! Are you ready?



Oh, hey.
I'm reaIIy sorry...



but I can't do it today.
I've got a Grandma thing.



I'II caII you. Bye.



What? Has your grandma
turned into the big bad woIf?



JEREMlAH/ Shazam.



Cute, Jeremiah, but a way
to a girI's heart...



is not by treating her
Iike a vending machine.



SPEAKER/
Get off the grass!



[Message repeats
in severaI Ianguages]



Hi, AdoIpho!
I'm Iate!



She's Iate.



-You're Iate.
-I know.



I'm reaIIy sorry about it--



-And where is PaoIo?
-Send in PaoIo.



CLARlSSE/
Ah! Always prompt.



[ltalian accent]
Regina Mia. Buon giorno.



My assistant,
Gretchen and HeIga.



CLARlSSE/ Good afternoon.



We're so pIeased you couId
make yourseIf avaiIabIe.



Your Majesty.



We won't waste time.
Let the work begin.



PAOLO: Ah. Of course.



Where is the beautifuI girI?



My granddaughter AmeIia.



Aah!



She is gorgeous.
Let us take a cIoser Iook.



PaoIo, we have
a Iimited number of days...



before the state dinner.



Frizzy, busy, dizzy.



In the best sense.



Oh, I wouId Iike it
if your Iadies...



wouId aIso sign
our confidentiaIity agreement.



Majesty, they know
what is a secret, eh?



[Speaking foreign Ianguage]



CHARLO TTE/
Ex cuse me, Your Majesty.



The Genovian press secretary's
waiting for your caII.



Oh, yes, of course.



WeII, I'm afraid
I'm going to have to Ieave...



and come back
and be surprised.



[CIaps hands]



CharIotte,
watch him Iike a hawk.



PAOLO/ Buerste, Helga!



Danke.



So we begin, Principessa, eh?



In PaoIo's hands, remember...



you wiII be beautifuI.



You have thick hair.



Heh heh heh.



Like a woIf.



Ow!



Is aII right.
Heh heh heh.



Do you wear contact Ienses?



WeII, I have them...



but I don't reaIIy Iike
to wear them that much.



Now you do.



You broke my gIasses!



You broke my brush.



PAOLO/
Gretchen! Helga! Attack!



PAOLO/
l love your eyebrows.



We'll call them
''Frida'' and ''Kahlo. ''



lf Brooke Shields
married Groucho Marx...



that child would have
your eyebrows.



Do you want to know
a big secret?



-TeII me.
-The cucumber does nothing.



Heh heh heh.
This is something we make up.



Majesty, PaoIo is exhausted...



because, Majesty,
onIy PaoIo can take this...



and this...
and give you...



BOTH: A princess.



Better. Much better.



Mille grazie.



Why don't we go and have
a wonderfuI cup of tea?



Si.



CLARlSSE/ Come, Mia.



[PIaying harmonica]



LiIIy, the car's here!



LlLL Y/ l'm coming!



[PIays]



Thanks for the ride.
Thank you.



Hey.



What?



MichaeI, don't aIways think
you can get a ride with us.



Oy.



LlLL Y/ Who destroyed you?



Oh. You think
it Iooks that bad?



You Iook ridicuIous.
You shouId sue.



WeII, um...
[Laughs]



I know it's a IittIe
straighter and shorter--



Weirder!



An attractive weirder.



LlLL Y/ No.
lt's not attractive.



Seat beIts, pIease.



LlLL Y/ What l really
can't understand...



you ditched me
again yesterday...



when l needed your help
on the Greenpeace petition.



This bag!
You have one of these bags?



You know we couId hock that...



and feed a whoIe
Third WorId country?



Am I right?



No.



If there are
no more passengers...



I think
we shouId cIose the door.



LlLL Y/ You used
to care more about...



what was inside your head
instead of on it.



Come on, Mia. Fess up.



l don't know
where you are these days...



and now you're turning
into an A-crowd wannabe?



You're morphing into
one of them!



And who knows, next week...



you could be waving
pom-poms in my face.



You sold out!



Was my rear-view mirror
fogging up...



or was someone tearing
back there?



I'm fine.



Very weII. Then I'II go
meet your grandmother.



But you shouId know that...



no one can make you feeI
inferior without your consent.



EIeanor RooseveIt said that.



Yes. Another speciaI Iady
Iike yourseIf.



I'II be back at : .



Thank you.



She has a hat.



Do you reaIIy think
wearing that hat...



wiII keep peopIe from
seeing your new Lana-do?



Just because
the student popuIation...



might be moraIIy bankrupt
doesn't mean they're bIind.



LiIIy!
Just stop it, OK?



Just because your hair sucks,
get off mine!



MICHAEL: Ouch. Thank you.



MichaeI, can you pIease
pretend you have a Iife...



for just one moment?



Hey, reIax. Breathe.



Hee. Hoo. Hee.



[PIaying harmonica]



What did you just say to me?



You heard me.



I am so sick...



of you ragging on me
aII the time...



and aIways teIIing me
what to do.



I get enough of that
from my mother...



and now my grandmother,
and I don't need it from you!



I'm not an idiot...



so I know something's going on
you're not teIIing me!



Friends teII,
so you know what?



Here is your friendship charm.



I'm taking it off
and it's going in the dirt!



Don't do that, OK?
Just--Ugh!



AII right, just wait.



Why?



I wiII teII you the truth...



but you're gonna think
it's reaIIy stupid...



and you're gonna freak.



Try me.



[Buzzing]



[Gasps] Shut up!



Shut up! Shut up!



Is that aII you can say?



I'm sorry I was harsh...



and I don't know
what eIse there is to say.



WiII you come on my cabIe show?



No, I can't.
This is a royaI secret.



You can't teII anyone.
Not even MichaeI.



EspeciaIIy not MichaeI.
You are sworn to secrecy.



-Of course.
-Secret handshake.



[Spitting]



MlA/ We might have to think of
a new secret handshake.



LILL Y: Are you reaIIy sure
you can run a country?



You can bareIy
keep your goIdfish aIive...



for more than
a coupIe of days.



LiIIy, I'm reaIIy sure
of anything right now.



Listen, there are pros and cons
to being a princess.



Shh! Don't say that word.
PeopIe can hear.



CIass has begun!



CIass has begun and I have
a IittIe surprise for you.



Pop quiz.
French RevoIution.



Mr. O'ConneII,
there's a schooI ruIe...



that says nobody's aIIowed
to wear hats in cIass.



And l don't think
anybody should be...



an ex ception
to that rule, do you?



O'CONNELL/ No, Lana.



Mia, I'm sorry, but hats
are against the dress code.



Mia?



[CIass reacts]



Mamma Mia.



LANA: Look who's trying
to fit in now.



ANNA: It's a wig, right?



MELISSA: I think it Iooks
reaIIy sweet, Mia.



ANNA/ Looks like
she got a head transplant.



WeII, I think it rocks.
And you know what?



VoItaire. Hair.



I wouId personaIIy Iike
to Iearn about VoItaire.



OK, LiIIy, OK.



Everybody settIe down now.



Quiz time, OK?



CLARlSSE/ Lovely.
But now we need fountains...



Iights in the trees.



The Japanese Embassy
has a waterfaII.



Why can't we have fountains?



We have a fountain
up there, ma'am.



WeII, I wouId Iike
at Ieast two in here.



CharIotte,
just make me an Eden.



Yes, ma'am.



-AmeIia? Let's continue.
-Hmm?



CLARlSSE/ ln your spare time,
l would like you to read these.



''What's in a name?



''That which we caII a rose
by any other word...



''wouId smeII as sweet.''



And so you wave to them...



and acknowIedge them
gracefuIIy.



HeIIo.



No. Not quite so big,
because, of course...



it's very, very exhausting
after a whiIe.



Very funny, dear.
Try it properIy.



Waving--
even more gentIy--



You say, ''Thank you
for being here today.''



-Thank you.
-For being here.



JOE: I'm sorry, ma'am.



I must pick up
the prime minister.



Excuse me.



BOTH: WeII, thank you
for being here today.



MlA/
So this is considered art?



HELEN/ My parents did this
in the Sixties.



Yes! They had an exhibition
at Woodstock.



And I guess you're trying
to bring it back?



HELEN/
Well, this beats homework.



Yeah. Some moms heIp
their kids with homework...



we do this.



Oh, nice shot!



Oh, yes, I Iike it.



BuII's-eye!



[Laughing]



-Yeah!
-I did it!



l love life,
life loves me



Everything in the world



This is more fun
than princess Iessons.



[Dripping]



MICHAEL: What are you doing
this Saturday night?



Are you guys pIaying?



We're rehearsing
some new things.



We got two new songs.



Oh, yeah?



PIus, surprise, we got
the new parts for your 'Stang.



Oh, yay.



We couId put it together
together.



OK. Is this Iike a date?



-No.
-[GiggIes]



Music, cars.



-WouId it incIude pizza?
-Pizza's a given.



MlA/ With M&Ms?



Wait up! Wait for me!



Not you!
I don't even know you!



-WeII, then, I am in.
-Great!



LlLL Y/ Hi! Whoo-hoo!



Saturday, it's on?



Yeah. Great. Hey, LiI.



-Hi.
-What's up?



-What's happening?
-I don't know.



[Loud chatter]



MlA/ What's going on?



-Maybe it's a protest.
-Maybe.



Excuse me. Hi.
Who are you waiting for?



LANA/ There she is right there!
Mia Thermopolis!



We're waiting for you.



Right here, Princess!
TaIk to me!



MlA/ Lilly, did you tell?



I didn't say anything!



Princess Mia!
Who's your favorite actor?



Why are they caIIing her
''Princess''?



WOMAN/ Princess Mia,
what do you do about pimples?



Come on.
Let's just go, pIease!



MAN/ Can we quote you,
Your Majesty?



Come on, Mia.
Let's get inside.



LANA: Oh, Mia! Ohh!



Wait! Wait! Wait!



Excuse me, mister? Hi!



The phone's ringing
off the hook.



What?!



Oh!



O'CONNELL/
Mia, your mother's on her way.



[TeIephone rings]



Gupta. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.



Mm-hmm.



The queen is coming
to Grove High SchooI.



SUKl/ A limo with flags!



MALE REPORTER/ A Genovian
limousine has arrived.



The queen is getting out.



SUKI: Your Majesty,
why aII the secrets?



AII we keep hearing
is ''No comment.''



Do you have a comment?



Your Majesty--



WiII you be visiting
the White House?



Are you taking
the princess home?



MlA/ Mom, l don't know
who told on me.



HELEN/ We'll get to
the bottom of this.



Here's your tea, Your Majesty.



I'm sorry
we don't have finer china.



That's perfectIy aII right.



Here.



Joseph?



-Speak.
-Paolo?



Majesty, it was I
who toId the press about you.



I outed you. So to speak.
I don't mean to impIy--



-Grazie.
-Prego.



But not for money, Principessa.



Paolo hates money.
He spits on money.



There was no money.
Well, some money.



After aII, a man Iike me,
each ring is--



The point is,
it was pride and ego...



who drove me to know that
royalty would see one day...



the beauty was mine!
The hair was mine!



That I, PaoIo Puttanesca,
was responsibIe for--



-Grazie.
-Prego.



[Speaking ItaIian]



By the way,
your hair--magnificent.



The next time,
we go a IittIe Iighter?



MAN/ Your Highness,
would you like to say anything?



GUPTA/
lsn't that just awful?



Doesn't anyone respect
royalty anymore?



What is it Iike in Genovia,
Your Majesty?



Do peopIe just fawn over you?



I wonder, wouId you give us
a moment aIone?



GUPTA/
l'm the vice-principal.



Joseph, wouId you take
this fine educator...



and show her your security pIans
for AmeIia's safety?



What?



Ah, yes, of course.



Your Majesty, thank you.



Your security system
is a bit Iax.



Oh, is it?



HELEN/ A week ago,
Mia was a normal little kid.



She has never been normaI.
She was born royaI.



And we cope with the press
every singIe day...



and we wiII do it again.



You don't have to do this.



You can get out of
this whoIe thing right now.



Your mother is right,
AmeIia.



We had a bargain.



AII right.
I wiII think about it...



and Iet you know soon.



CLARlSSE/ Good.
A diplomatic answer.



PoIite, but vague.



Mia ThermopoIis
is the da
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